I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize