It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
He did a backflip because drugs
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
