this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
