Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
