i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
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