There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
Randomize
