Cold hands, warm shart.
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
Randomize