So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Randomize
