Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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