i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize
