i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
