I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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