it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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