thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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