yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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