I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize
