so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
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