I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
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