if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize