im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize
