you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
We were destined to go to rehab together
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I think I just shit out all my problems.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Randomize
