I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
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