im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
