So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
how drunk are you?
Several
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Randomize
