real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
