She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
i need to put some appletini on your dick
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
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