You were right. It hurts to walk today.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Randomize
