kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Randomize