Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
