??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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