its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
Randomize
