seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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