I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
