Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize
