Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
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