I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Randomize
