last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
