Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
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