I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Randomize