Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
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