no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Randomize
