I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
