My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Randomize
