Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
Randomize
