He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
