wat bout pragnant strippers??
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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