your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Randomize
