I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize