Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
Randomize
