You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
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