Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Randomize
