Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Randomize
