ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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