Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
Randomize
