I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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