dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Randomize