Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
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