i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
don't judge my taste in strippers
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
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