Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Randomize
