i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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