she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
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