How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
