Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
