No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Randomize
